I got woken up by the beautiful sounds of trees hitting my window, a little bit of sunshine on my face and the loudest sounds brought by the wind, it was heavenly.
I didn't work today so it was a slow morning for me, I enjoyed some grapefruit and lemon water and made little botanical drawings - I'm not sure what it is but I've been fully enjoying these moments of solitude. It's almost like living in this busy, noisy city has brought the quietest in me.
I'm Ok with that. I hope people are Ok with that.
I left the house and got on the right train at the right time and I made my way to London Bridge three minutes early before my meeting - this is a big accomplishment, for the first time in three weeks I didn't walk the wrong way, I didn't get on the wrong train and I wasn't late. This is big, at least to me it is. I almost felt like a part of this city and I'm so thankful for that.
I met a girl who reached out to me via Instagram, sometimes I still find it weird that people take the time to write sweet emails, and reach out to me - It's both strange and fantastic almost unexpected. She contacted me because she enjoys my photography and as a fellow Canadian herself she was intrigued by my move to London, we agreed to meet and chat over a massive wrap at Borough Market.
I can't tell you exactly what the point of the meeting was, I knew there was one but I can't remember now, the thing is that we chatted about being genuine on the internet and in life in general, we talked about being transparent and enjoying true honest moments. Quality over quantity. We talked about success and about failures and about what we both expected or hoped about coming to London.
I won't share her thoughts but I will share mine - because I can.
I didn't move to London to become a more successful photographer, or to be a more successful Corina. I moved to London to find who Corina is, and maybe then become more successful at being human.
I know that all seems weird and I'm not trying to be poetic or sound intelligent and deep, but the thing is I felt lost, and I felt stuck in Vancouver. I wasn't growing career wise, personal wise and in my faith and that basically just sucks.
There were more moments were I felt sad, and anxious about what I was doing than I felt joy and though I know life isn't meant to be happy all the time I am simply not interested in a life where I feel like I'm just surviving.
If you were to ask me what I want to be or what I want out of life I think my answer would be that I want to be joyful - I want to live a life that has trials but that even in the mist of those I can find joy and be fully and genuinely thankful for every single moment I experience, even when it gets tough.
Now I'm not saying that moving to London will bring me joy, but I believe leaving my comfort zone, leaving my bubble and my known things will provide a bigger perspective and a bigger sense of what life means to me. London is just a place.
I needed to grow. I needed to feel challenged and feel vulnerable. I needed to hear God's voice in my life. I needed to be guided by Him and I needed to seek Him more than I seek other things, I want to be honest and say I've felt God more these past weeks than I have in two years. This is what I need.
I'm not sure if who I met today, got what she wanted out of our meeting but I can safely say that I got so much out of speaking from my heart, and opening up to a complete stranger who probably only wanted to grab coffee. ( Thanks O )
On my way home from our meeting I stopped by a park close to home, there is a crazy wind storm happening so I literally got hit by the wind several times and the most beautiful thing happened right there and then, I stopped because I felt so alive and so full of peace. I think that's how joy works it almost hits you in the face, like a ray of light.
Joy I pray you stay.
-C