Every single day has been jammed packed with activities and places to see. My eyes are constantly amazed by the beauty of this country and when I think Ive seen enough I turn a corner and there is something even more brilliant.
I have to be honest and say it still hasn't hit yet (you know me moving) I keep waking up with this feeling that I will be home soon. - I guess I'm on vacation mode, and It is not until I have a quiet moment to I remind myself that this place I'm standing on, this place that I'm getting to know is home now. Honestly it absolutely scares the crap out of me, and makes me excited at the same time. "What am I doings" and "You're totally nuts" run through my head, sometimes I want to just called it off and go back to my comfort zone, to my known safe places, but that is exactly why I'm here and what I'm running away from.
There is just so much uncertainty, so many unknowns; and now it isn't that I've always been eager to know every single detail of my life but not knowing anything is almost terrifying.
I can't say that I've lived sheltered or away from hardship all my life, If anything I've lived a life full of changes however I have always had a big support group and I have been blessed with a beautiful family that supports my crazy ideas and God! do I miss them every single day. I miss their hugs, gosh I miss hugging in general. Do people hug in London? Aren't we suppose to have 12 hugs a day? (these are the thoughts that run through my head when I walk down the street, because IT IS IMPORTANT! I need to know)
I have been battling a cold for the last few days, and my energy has gotten super low, but I feel so dumb complaining, I feel out of place and ungrateful because I have been given this amazing opportunity and the chance to see and to step on beautiful places. How can I complain when God has been so good to me this entire process, and when He has completely blown me away with His love for me. I'm holding on so tightly to this passage:
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11
I'm going on for too long, but I felt like I needed to be real and honest for a second because life isn't a curated feed on Instagram and though I am experiencing the happiest of moments (I know that's hard to believe after such uplifting read!) I am also full of doubt but it is all good, I knew moments like these would come, after all I did say in my new year "resolutions" that I wanted to be weaker only to be stronger.
I want to be able to read these entries, and know that there is more than this.
-C
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